fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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