found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
