I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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