I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
