just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
