i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
