ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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