Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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