The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
