I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
