Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
No subtext here. People are naked.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
