She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
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