my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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