I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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