when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
