Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize