listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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