hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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