O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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