My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Randomize
