i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
