4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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