and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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