a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
