I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
