K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Im part way to drunk.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
