he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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