If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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