Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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