butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
