We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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