An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
