Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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