I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
