billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize