I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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