I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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