and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
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Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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