Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
