Already got asked if we're dating
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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