There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize