my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
