u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
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