walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Randomize
