just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
