oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
