Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
