Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
