bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
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my shit smells like andre
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
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My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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