I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
