Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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