Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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