Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
