She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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