Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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